LIVING IN THE TRUTH
BY STORMIE OMARTIAN
I was always searching for the truth when I was young. That's because I was raised by a mentally ill mother who continually imagined things that weren't happening and heard voices that weren't there. She lived a life based on whatever she conjured up in her mind. She thought people were watching her through the mirrors and the television. She believed these same nameless and faceless people were following her wherever she went because they wanted to kill her. Besides acting crazy she was also abusive - physically and verbally. She often locked me in a closet when I was a child and that is what eventually affected me the most. It instilled in me deep feelings of sadness, loneliness, depression, anxiety, hopelessness and worthlessness. To make it even more confusing, she would pick and choose parts of the Bible to use as a weapon, making God sound just as crazy and unloving as she was. I wanted nothing to do with that kind of god.
Once I was out of school and finally away from her my entire quest was to find out the truth - about myself, my life, the world, and the spirit realm. I studied hard and read everything I could get my hands on. Unfortunately, it all led down the wrong path and my life got worse and not better. I became more depressed, more anxious, and increasingly lonely and hopeless. I got into all kinds of occult practices trying to find a way out of the emotional pain I had been suffering with for so long. I wanted to have an encounter with a spiritual being that could help me because I knew no one on earth could. The problem is I did make contact with spiritual beings but they were demonic, and they frightened me even more than my own emotional emptiness did.
I explored eastern religions, but I found their gods to be cold, cruel, distant, and unloving. They reminded me too much of my childhood. If there was something good to be found in any one of them I would have discovered it, for there was never a more determined person than I was to find something worth clinging to. But I was becoming more distressed and distraught as time went on since each endeavour to find meaning and purpose not only failed, but led to greater fear, depression, and confusion than before. I was spiralling downward and nothing I tried ever freed me from the pain I felt every day. I wanted to put an end to it, so I began to plan my suicide.
In the midst of planning, a Christian girl I had been working with for two years said she could see that I was not doing well. She invited me to go with her to meet her pastor. I agreed and the three of us met at a local restaurant. The pastor talked to me for two hours about Jesus and how God had a purpose for my life. He said that if I received Jesus He would fill me with His Holy Spirit and change me from the inside out into all I was created to be. That was something I had never heard before, and I loved the sound of it.
The pastor gave me three books to read, one of which was the Gospel of John in book form. He told me to go home and read the books and come back the following week to meet with him again. As I read the books, I knew I was reading the truth. I was absolutely certain of it. The Gospel of John came alive to me like nothing else ever had. People had been praying for me to see the truth and their prayers were answered.
When I came back to meet with the pastor, He asked me what I thought of the books and I told him of my experience. He led me to the Lord that day and it ended my search for meaning and truth. But it was the beginning of my lifelong quest to not only know the truth that sets us free, but to live in it. Now, each day I fill myself with God's truth - The Bible. And I invite the Spirit of Truth - the Holy Spirit of God - to fill me afresh each morning so that I have a clear knowledge of His truth in all that I do and think. It is the only way to live.
Stormie Omartian is the author of more than 50 books, including her bestsellers: The Power of a praying wife, The Power of a praying husband, The Power of a praying woman, The Power of a praying parent, The Power of praying for your adult children and The Power of a praying life. Her books have sold over 15 million copies and are translated into over 25 languages.
Source: Prayer for Today
