THE POWER OF SPEECH
BY SANDRA SMITH
The ability to communicate through speech is a great blessing. Language is an integral and intrinsic part of ourselves, our society and our culture. How rewarding it is to praise The Lord and encourage those around us.
Yet aren't there also occasions when we succumb to negativity? Or worse? When, instead of sharing love and compassion, our thoughtless comments cause unnecessary hurt? For although words can often be pleasing to God, at other times they are misused, abused, even destructive.
James, an energetic and enthusiastic leader in the Jerusalem church, is characteristically concise in his warning to followers of Christ (James 3: 2-10). The tongue, he insists, despite being a small part of our body, has enormous potential. And the effect of exploiting it can have damaging results. If we fail to remain in command of what we say, it can mar our relationships with friends and family. And with God.
So how do we minimise our chances of causing harm through foolish or insensitive words? Actually, the answer is deceptively simple. Before we speak, we should ask ourselves three straightforward questions:
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Can you imagine how much more positive our lives and relationships would be if everyone took this on board? How much more caring, compassionate and constructive interaction would become? Surely this is a goal to which all Christians should aspire?
But let's just think about these three parameters.
Obeying one of them isn't enough, is it? Maybe a potential comment is true but do you believe it's necessary? And are you sure it's kind?
And what about a remark that ticks the first two boxes? It's tempting to believe that that is sufficient justification for letting your tongue have its way. Perhaps only by questioning your intentions can you confirm whether or not your comment is necessary.
Sometimes we're tempted to say things for some selfish, inner satisfaction. Yes, we insist, the statement is necessary, it may even be kind. But are we absolutely certain it's true?
Clearly these three rules are only effective if they work as a team. To avoid or correct any misguided motives, it is imperative to apply all three.
Of course, this doesn't just apply to comments to others. We can be equally tough on ourselves. It's commonplace to curse and utter pessimistic phrases when we're upset or under pressure. Negativity has infiltrated modern culture and it's far from unusual to hear complaints such as, ‘She's doing my head in,' or ‘I'm hopeless.'
But do you believe God ever speaks to us like that? Of course not! He shows love, mercy and compassion. His understanding and encouragement shines through His carefully crafted words. And how much we appreciate His constant and uplifting support.
So just imagine how elated you would feel if, every time someone spoke to you, they had first checked if their comments were kind, true and necessary.
The Bible has numerous references to the vocal goals which Christians should follow. In Paul's letter to the church at Colosse he tells Christians to let conversations be gracious and effective (4:6). Proverbs explains that the godly should think before speaking (16: 28) and assures us those who control their tongue will have a long life (13:3).
Of course, what you choose not to say is important, too. A couple once confided to me that the success of their long marriage was due to the number of times each day they kept their thoughts to themselves, despite temptations to vocalise opinions. I've often recalled the soundness of their judgement.
Our tongues are capable of causing irreparable distress to those around us. Whether they are friends, family or passing acquaintances, either at home, in the workplace or a social environment. For it is impossible to take back a cruel remark or tactless opinion. And it doesn't take many syllables to spoil an otherwise secure relationship.
But as Christians we recognise things don't have to be like that. We can use our power of speech to good effect: to praise, console and placate.
And we can achieve this by controlling our tongue, rather than allowing our tongue to control us.
So, by following the three rules, it is possible to regulate our comments and, with guidance from the Holy Spirit, develop and sustain self-control. Once we manage our tongues, we are in command of every other aspect of our character.
And then our words will please everyone, especially God.
Sandra Smith combines her profession as a freelance writer and creative writing tutor with looking after her family. Originally from Birmingham, she has lived in The Chilterns for the last 17 years.
